Alright,im not a very good typer but i have to share this one so please bare with me.
  The other night,i decided to give this giant texas rat snake of mine some freedom,so i dusted off my ceiling fan and put him up there to "hang out" for a while.I figured that ther was no possible was for him to go anywheres since he was about eight feet in the air and like six and a half feet long(keep in mind that he's got some serious girth too).For about an hour after that he didnt move an inch,he just sat ther looking at me while i watched tv.Figuring that the snake would be perfectly content to just stay there for a while,I left my room to go and make a sandwitch.i was gone for about twenty minutes, when i returned,he was gone. I imediatly assumed that he had fallen off and was on the ground somewhere,so i spent the next hour searching high and low for him.I couldnt understand how the hell a six foot rat snake could just dissapear, though i learned a long time ago that they were in fact escape experts.As i stood there scratching my head looking up at my fan, i noticed that the air vent to my room was within a reasonable distance from the fan,but quickly disguarded it as a possibility since each slit in the vent was less than an inch wide,and continued to look arround.Before long i returned to the vent and called my dad into the room to ask him if he thought the snake could fit in there,"oh yeah, he's in there"was all he said before going back to whatever he was doing.It was then that i realized that i would have to get up into the attic to try and recover the snake.I was in a slight panic since i was worried that i may not find him in time to save him from being overheated or frozen to death by the a/c , so i grabbed a flashlight and headed up into the attic with no shoes and no shirt on(it was like 12:oo at night).I once fell through a roof while working in an attic for a local electric company, so i knew i had to be very carefull to step on only the plywood.After cliffhanging my way over to where my room was, i checked to make sure that the snake could not have escaped into the attic. I realized that he would have to be in the insulated tubing that led back to the actual a/c unit that distributes the air throughout the house.When i got over to the a/c unit in the attic, i banged on it a few times and sure enough, i could hear him rattling his tail and hissing quite loud.I called down to my dad and told him i had found the snake and would have to poke a rather large hole in the tubing to get him out,my dad replied with something like,"Dont you dare poke a hole in my **** a/c or ill kick your ass......Im going to bed so quit banging arround, the snake will come out when he wants to." I was not satisfied with that idea so when he walked away i decided to go ahead with my plan to recover my snake.Right before i went to cut a hole in the insulated tubing, i could here the snake making his way down the tube towards the living room air vent. I went ahead of him a ways to make my incision(meanwhile im desperately trying not to plunge straight through the ceiling).After making my cut,i reached my hand in to grab the snake and he sliped out further down the tube.I know i cant make more than one hole in the tubing so i rushed to get in front of him and picked up the tube kinda shaking it so he would slide back down tawards the hole i had made.The second time i stuck my hand in, WHAM!, he took a really nice bite into my hand doing one of those classic chewing manuvers.Fortunately, i got a hold of him this time and pulled him out only to have him take another strike AT MY FACE! I loss my balence pulling a matrix trick to avoid taking the bite and fell,but fortunately it was onto an old sliding closet door placed longways laying down behind me.I was a bit stunned because i was expecting to go plumiting through the house and being in deep s%#t! As i was getting back up, the snake decided to let me know exactly how he felt about me foiling his attempts at escape by biteing me RIGHT ON THE NIPPLE!,AHHHHGH! Obviously a sensitive spot since i had no shirt on.Finaly i got the snake back into his cage and went back up to fix the hole i made in the a/c tubing.It was only now, bleeding from places ive never bled before , that i got to sit down and eat that sandwitch i had made nearly two hours earlier.

     and so there you have it,i hope you enjoyed it         
                                                                                -TRUE STORY-